Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
