The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
