I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just want nice things and good sex
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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