i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
