How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
