scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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