2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
