Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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