I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
