Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
