I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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