I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
