you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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