it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
