The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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