? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
