Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
