Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
