I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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