LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
