I smell stomach acid.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
