I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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