yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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