thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize