what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
