We're like a lot better than the average bears
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize