I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
