the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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