Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
