Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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