If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
