If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize