I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
