is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
