i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
