Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
