I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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