If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
