don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I checked into jail on foursquare
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm bleeding and have questions
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
