he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
