Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
