I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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