that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Welp...herpes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
