i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
