just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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