im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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