Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
