I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
