Christians are straight up FREAKS
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
