Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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