Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize