ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
