You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
