all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
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