Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
