my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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