its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
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