i think my mom watched the whole time
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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