he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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