Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
