His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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